{the missing teacher}

Your career is not your self-worth

“There’s the inability in this country to disentangle self-worth from career” – Christina Shideler

When I first started to share that I had written a book, it was hard to explain what it was about in that compelling ‘stuck in an elevator, you only have 2 minutes’ kind of way that everyone tells you to do.
I wish I had written what Christina succulently said because that’s the crux of it. I was a Waldorf teacher, believed in Rudolf Steiner’s philosophy, and when they told me, ‘hit the road, kid’, I was blindsided (but not really), and devastated (I’m better now).

Despite the book being published ten years after the event, I still did not have the distance or perspective to clearly see the book’s strengths. Or to understand that the cliche ‘getting fired and getting back up’ was a perfectly fine selling point. I wanted to be more literary or something, but really it comes back to recognizing that who we are is not necessarily what we do.

I think about this a lot. I contemplate mothers and fathers, and what would happen if their children died young. Not because I like to entertain dark thoughts, but because being a parent is an unbreakable connection and role that many feel completes them.

I contemplate my own role as a teacher (and I never thought I’d return to the profession), and how I constantly tell myself that I’m not really a teacher, or that my influence in this capacity is a minor one. Life changes, demands of us to move, and a career today can be gone tomorrow.

Getting fired from a job that trained me to possess it body and soul, was not supposed to happen. And while I can’t wholeheartedly stomach, “I’m glad it did”, I can say, I learned a great deal about myself, which for a person who values self-development, is mighty important.

Thanks for being part of the conversation.

P.S. I decided that I'm worth than the bare minimum price that I put on Amazon (and the 23 cents in return), so I bumped up the cost of my Kindle and print book. And then, I finally put my ebook on Gumroad, and stopped giving my audiobook away for free. Must be all this talk about worth...

17.10.19
0 Comments

My addendum to the 'Measles for the One Percent' Waldorf article

Measles for the One Percent

On the first of May, I was contacted by Lisa Miller who told me she was writing an article for New York Magazine on Waldorf education and did I have time to answer a few questions? We spoke for about 45 minutes. She was pleasant, articulate, and open-minded. Despite my bad experiences as a Waldorf teacher, I try to be fair, but when the fact-checker contacted me a few weeks later, I knew by the conversation that the article was going to throw a few punches.

It’s a very long article, but well-researched and well-written. I was flattered to be contacted and it was nice to have made the final edits, but I think for the sake of brevity, my words were put together in a way that came off as a little different than I intended. So, I'd like to clarify a couple of things. I also think it's important that the wacky stuff not be the main takeaway from the article out of respect for the people who teach at Waldorf and attend the schools.

I'm quoted about 17 paragraphs in, and I want to thank the reader who emailed me to say that the article was out. But here are the points that I felt were a tad blurry:

When the fact-checker, Jane connected with me, she specifically had a few things that she wanted to clarify, and these were them. I sort of hate the fact that the quote looks like I said 'we don't wear shoes in Hawaii'. I mean, my god, I'd be the laughing stock of the islands if anyone pointed that out. We wear shoes, we just don't wear shoes indoors. Hawaii is primarily an Asian population and normally Asians don't wear shoes indoors, because at least traditionally in SE Asia, people eat and sleep on the floor.

Secondly, I did say that there were kids with zipper coolers and lunchboxes. They were in the minority, but we had them. And while I was snarky during the conversation over the more absurd points, (like the black crayon, c' mon, right?) I tried to give fair answers as I don't hold ill feelings towards the people who were involved in my firing or towards Waldorf education in general. Anyway...enough about me. What about the rest of it?

When I read the article, I was reminded of a bigger phenomenon that is going on in the US. There seems to be not only a witch hunt regarding celebrities who say the 'wrong' things but also one that entails digging through dead men's graves. I understand why Lisa was taking a hard look at Rudolf Steiner. She was doing her research and trying to get her head around some pretty far out literature. Nonetheless, I wanted to add my thoughts.

The tough thing about Waldorf education is there are some very polarizing views. There are those who love it, swear by it, and firmly believe in Rudolf Steiner's vision. And within that spectrum of believers, there are gradients. Then there are those who hate it and had horrible experiences - with degrees of distrust within that camp, too.

I find myself sympathetic to both sides.

If we looked back at when Rudolf Steiner lived (around World War I and II), I think you'd find many other intelligent people who held what we consider racist and sexist views. I'm not saying this is excusable or okay. I just think CONTEXT is something to consider. As a former student of anthropology, I've read about how races were 'categorized' by early anthro pioneers, my own 'race', for example, was classified as 'barbarians'. However, at the time, this was one of the ways in which scientists tried to make sense of the world and the people in it. We know better now.

There will be a time when future generations look at how we behave and what we consider moral and normal and question our sanity, much like how we look back at slavery and denying women the right to vote. In fact, there was a time not so long ago in which many people believed gay marriage to be abominable. And yes, I realize there are cultures around the world that still have 'slaves' and treat gays as criminals.

So what will future folks say about us? I can't believe they used gasoline, and drove automobiles knowing how damaging it was to our environment! Anyone who used a car should be eradicated from our historic records no matter what they did. Can you believe they used to let their children use smartphones! Who knows how future societies will judge on what we are doing today? It's an interesting thought and one that I think of when we look back at famous figures.

I think we forget this and keep throwing babies out with the bathwater. To be sure, Steiner said some wacky shit. As someone who studied anthroposophy during my training years, it was very difficult to understand. I often felt like I was getting somewhere, only to feel utterly confused about it the next day. So while the article couldn't possibly do justice to this esoteric body of work, it's important to consider that the sensational bits were the ones mentioned.

It's also worth noting that Steiner's words have been translated from German to English. And while he was born in what is now considered Austria, it's all Germany, and German culture and American culture does have its differences.

And that karma quote? Ugh. Steiner was probably trying to make sense of the world and why bad things happen to good people. He certainly wasn't the first nor will he be the last. More excuses? No, more CONTEXT. Was he clairvoyant? Who knows, who cares! Why can't we take the good parts, the art-based education, the storytelling, the focus on beauty, music, dance, non-technological play, and run with that?

As far as the vaccination or lack thereof with some Waldorf parents, this phenomenon definitely reflects the times we live in. Folks are wary of big pharmaceuticals, they distrust governments, and things that are 'taken for granted'. Parents want to control the chemicals going into their children's bodies. To me, it sounds like these parents are simply hyper-conscious about raising healthy kids. On the surface, these are understandable qualities.

They have good intentions, but their beliefs are having unforeseeable consequences. If it wasn't we wouldn't be having this conversation.

What’s been your experience with Waldorf education? Did you read the article?

1.6.19
0 Comments

the missing teacher: three years later

teacher memoir

18.7.18
0 Comments

25 Ideas for the EFL classroom

efl education

I’ve been teaching English as a Foreign Language since 2010 and prior to that I was a Waldorf teacher (and I even did graduate work in Montessori education). When I was getting my teaching certificate (TESOL) for teaching English in 2009, I knew that my Waldorf background would be beneficial.

Here’s how. Both types of education emphasize different learning types or styles: kinesthetic, tactile, auditory, visual and the importance of play. So, in the classroom, I try to remember all this and have used some ideas that I’ve adopted from all the schools I have taught at, as well. I hope this is useful, if not at least inspires you do try something new. Enjoy!

1. A beanbag or a small ball is a quick and easy way to make the classroom a little more interesting. I use it primarily for asking questions (toss it to a student) and then they have to ask another question to a different student. You can also use this for checking homework.

2. If you have access to more balls or beanbags, you could have the students toss them between a partner and spell words, count, or come up with all the words they can think of that start with ‘S’ and so forth.

3. In Waldorf we had to be conscious of how long the children were sitting in their seats, and in EFL it’s pretty much the same, especially with the younger ones. Something as simple as changing partners, changing seats, creating groups gets the blood flowing again.

4. One of my Waldorf trainers told us to make the students laugh at least one time a day. I never forgot that. Don’t be too serious.

5. Some students like background music and others don’t, but they generally, they all like it when you play something softly while they are up and mingling and asking questions. It helps them to not feel so self-conscious while talking.

6. Which reminds me, give your students many opportunities to talk, this will help reduce ‘teacher talk time’ as well. You can start the class by putting a question on the whiteboard that ties into the lesson and allowing them to mingle (see #4). It’s a simple warmer, but effective in so many ways.

7. I was also told, never do anything that your students can do instead, so what this means to me is I let them read the directions in the textbook. I let them read almost everything out loud. And if there are questions to create, and they can do it, I let them create their own questions. I don’t have to come up with everything and the students benefit.

8. You’ll learn a lot of games, but one of the ways to spice it up is to add a time limit to them. Gazzawazza takes too long, in my opinion, so when I give them only a minute to come up with a list of words for the category, it adds so much more urgency, which makes it more fun.

9. Sometimes you don’t have to check homework. It can take up too much time and trying to make it into a game can be even more annoying. Just take a look around the room to see who did it, have the answers ready on the WB, ask if there are any questions, and move on.

10. Probably another big Waldorf takeaway was realizing how important it is to observe your students. Pay attention to them. Give each one a chance to talk individually (when possible). You can avoid misunderstandings sometimes if you notice they are not feeling well, having a bad day, whatever.

11. Write up a list of all the games you know. I often refer to my list when I’m feeling blank and uninspired.

12. At the beginning of the term, roughly plan out the entire 10 weeks or whatever you have. It’s a good idea to see where you are going, will you have time, do you have too much free time, etc.

13. Learn the language of where you are at. You don’t have to master it, but you’ll gain a much better idea of what kind of mistakes your students will make. And hopefully, an appreciation for how tricky learning another language can be.

14. If there is an opportunity for the students to get out of their seats with their books and ask questions, read a dialogue or even a short reading, then consider doing it (but don’t overdo it).

15. There are many ways to pair up the students so they are not just sitting next to their friends. Sitting in alphabetical order, by favorites, give them questions and answers and the Q&As sit together, heck draw straws, but get them mixed up.

16. Walking in a circle when practicing the alphabet or reciting whatever you’re trying to get your students to remember. And then have them walk backwards while reciting the alphabet backwards, too! You can put it on the WB and when they need to cheat, they can look at the board.

17. Getting your students to pair up and test each other on spelling, months, or vocabulary is a simple, but effective way to get them engaged and practicing.

18. One of the activities I use regularly is ‘shouting dictation’. It requires you to find a dialogue (from the book or the web that is relevant to your grammar or lesson) and split the conversation. Have your students facing each other and make sure they don’t copy.

Student (Ss) A reads their part while Ss B writes it down, then they switch until they have written the entire conversation. So good for so many reasons. It’s worth the prep.

19. Pictures can be great learning tools. I use laminated photos of famous places from around the world to elicit, not only countries, cities, languages, but also adjectives and questions like, “Do you want to travel here? Why or why not?”

When the picture is a physical object that the Ss hold, not something they see on the computer, there’s a whole new world of possibilities that can open up. Discussing the photo in pairs, groups, exchanging photos, they love holding them. Celebrities pics are good for beginner levels, getting Ss to ask, “What’s her name? Where is she from?” and so on.

20. I also found animal and job cards in a local bookstore. They were obviously made for younger kids, but older children can enjoy them as well if you make it more challenging. Writing a story about one of the animals, and asking harder questions regarding an occupation like, “Where does he work? What does he do?”

21. Board games like Toggle, Chutes and Ladders, and Game Shows like Jeopardy can be modified for the classroom.

22. There’s a silly game called Password you might want to try if you don’t have a lot of students. It’s a category game. For example, if you say or write down ‘something in the room’, all the students have to line up and the last person to give you the correct answer has to sing or dance or maybe say a tongue twister. It’s fun. And yes, you can send someone to the end of the line if they give an answer that has already been given!

23. When I taught vocabulary related to clothing, I’d have the Ss write down what they were wearing. Then, everyone is out of their seats mingling, asking, “What are you wearing?” Next, I choose a Ss to come to the front of the room and turn his back to his classmates. I then ask him, “What is ____ wearing?” It’s a nice memory game, a bit unexpected and you can help them work on the vocab.

24. My students love a good ‘ol fashioned battle of: rock, paper, and scissors. You can incorporate this in a variety of ways in the classroom. I generally use it as a tie breaker between teams like when two Ss both gave the right answer and I’m not sure which team should get the point-kind of thing.

25. For my IELTS test preparation class, I typed up a 'game plan' which was basically an outline with suggestions of the areas they needed to study and asked them to come up with a regular time commitment. It's an experiment, that is we'll see if they try it, but that's what it's all about, right? Try something new and different.

Happy planning!

19.2.17
0 Comments

How can we keep our teachers?

education

Retaining teachers can be a challenge even in developed countries with plenty of resources. New teachers without proper training and experience are more likely to burn out faster than their more seasoned peers. Working conditions also play a part in how teachers perform and how long they stay across all countries. However, there are things educators, schools and faculty can do to help teachers succeed in today’s teaching environments.

As a teacher who has taught in the United States, Ecuador, Thailand and Cambodia with a total of 8 years’ experience and who has worked at different schools, I understand how teachers feel. I know what it is like to be the new teacher in country so different than her own, at a new school with its own ways of doing things, with various curriculum, working with teachers from around the world, and with students from all ages and backgrounds. It can be extremely stressful for a new teacher, especially teachers in their non-passport countries, to integrate into a new school.

I’ve been working at this particular language school for about a year and a half, and I still remember the teachers who smiled at me on my overwhelming first day; the ones who took the time to get to know me, and there is something to be said about that. Schools with a strong mentoring program are known to have a higher success rate of teacher retention than those who don’t. Peer assistance and review programs are important in helping all teachers feel as if they are growing professionally and working in a productive and rewarding environment.

It’s vital, however, that peer reviews are constructive and encouraging. Teachers need to feel confident when entering the classroom, particularly new ones fresh out of training. Giving teachers the tools and support they need to succeed also fosters a positive workplace. This leads into giving teachers opportunities to feel as though their voices are heard, which can be done through meetings, focus groups, school wide reviews, and professional development meetings and conferences.

Schools can also encourage teachers to stay longer through medical benefits, overtime and holiday pay, access to generous resources, and, of course, salary raises. This helps teachers become more financially stable and lets them know that their longtime commitment is valued. Schools can, in addition, create non-financial incentives with team building activities, fun staff events that take place outside of school and volunteer work for the community. Schools might also consider teaming up with a similar school so that they might exchange ideas, like a sister school program.

*I wrote this a few months ago for a 'contest' at our school. I didn't win the prize, to travel to South Korea for their TESOL conference, but writing the essay helped me realize a few things: how passionate I am about teaching and creating the best possible environment for us, and that so much can be done to help teachers, especially when schools (particularly in the US) appear to be hemorrhaging them.

You know even though I work abroad, the same problems plague schools all over the world. I hope this post reaches the right managers, teachers and principals.

What do you think? Do you work at a school that values you?

1.1.17
0 Comments

What we can learn from teaching memoirs

Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers

28.2.16
0 Comments

The hardest part about teaching

teacher training

The hardest thing about teaching has nothing to do with teaching at all and yet it has everything to do with it. Can you guess? It’s the politics.

The politics of education get in the way of teaching much like how arguing about money leaches into personal relationships. You realize it’s the circumstances nipping and snipping into your love life, your family and your home, but because they are circumstances, you have to learn how to deal with it – and that’s not easy.

I certainly wish we were warned about politics when I was in teacher training, but the focus, interestingly enough was mainly on the Waldorf pedagogy. Now, I realize this seems natural and understandable, but I think there should be room made for classroom management and dealing with school politics.

We had one session dedicated to classroom management questions and questions in general about the Waldorf way. And while this was beneficial, I watched our seminar teacher quickly deteriorate into great annoyance by the questions so that by the end of the class things felt a little awkward as if we had bothered him like irritating children asking too many questions.

I remember being told not to teach faculty children. I ended up with three of them in my first grade classroom, not including an office staff parent’s child as well. These parents were instrumental in meddling into my affairs. How could they not? They worked at the same school and were critical because they wanted the best for their child. I understand that, especially now. But what I wished I had asked my teacher trainers is, “How can I refuse to teach faculty children? And what if the school doesn’t support me?”

It’s important to say that I enjoyed my Waldorf teacher training experience, but it is only in hindsight do I see its shortcomings in preparing me for what was to come. I don’t blame them though. It is just my small hope that other teachers-in-training or teacher trainers will find what I say useful. Feedback is essential and unpleasant truths are deeply frustrating because none of us has all the answers and everyone simply wants to get on with it.

Yet, for all soon-to-be teachers and teachers like me with years under my proverbial belt, the politics involved in educating our children is a dreadful landmine. On the one side, it’s blissful to not know what is going on behind closed administrators’ doors and on the other side, it seems morally wrong not to care or do something about it.

Here’s a list of real scenarios:

// What do you do when you know other teachers are not getting paid nearly as much as you are? Think about the climate that creates within yourself and within the teachers room.

// What do you do when you are being privately bullied by your superior for criticizing curriculum changes? Do we then learn to not say anything? Yes, we do.

// Why are the good teachers left unrewarded and the bad ones given praise? (Interestingly, after my Waldorf experience I told myself that I would never speak poorly about another teacher having been the sweet target of my former colleagues. And let me tell you, it’s sometimes a hard silence to swallow.)

// What do you do when you know "management" is lying?

// What if a parent threatens you? Or insinuates that you’ve done something very wrong?

// What if you have classroom management issues? Do you ask for help or keep quiet (because behavior issues make you look bad)?

// What if you are asked to ignore certain problems so that “enrollment continues to grow”?

// Or what if you tell a principal about something you have been witnessing and she chooses to ignore you?

Many teachers I know learn to keep their head down and watch where they step. It’s a matter of survival and “playing the game”. I’ve certainly kept a low profile, but I’ve also stuck my short neck out on several occasions when I felt something needed to be said. Experience has taught me that nobody wants to be the bad guy so blame gets passed around like a baby that won’t stop crying.

And here we come to the reason why education, everywhere, mostly everywhere, is dysfunctional and drowning under problems. I believe we do our children a great disservice when we are not able to address issues with an open mind, when we are not able to mediate, and stand together for what we believe is ethically unjust.

What do you think is the hardest part of teaching?

11.2.16
1 Comments

the missing teacher's new book cover and 1 year anniversary

audiobook

14.1.16
0 Comments

Write your memoir (even if only 10 people read it)

memoir

Sometimes it feels like the only memoirs that matter are the ones celebrities write. But this is not true and never will be as long as everyday people are around. Stories are people and people are stories. And there is so much transformative magic in the simple telling of a tale.

When I decided to write my Waldorf story I knew I had to get it out of me. I knew that it was going to be therapeutic in the way journaling and paying attention to your feelings are, but beyond that I didn’t really know how the book would affect me or any future readers.

One year later after I officially published it, I can say it feels good to have done it.

Not because I made a ton of money and became wildly famous beyond my biggest dreams, or even because I was recognized for my writing, in fact, I hardly did any marketing so it barely sold. I’m not even sure my friends really read it or liked it. Although, I got good feedback on Amazon. It’s okay though. I'm fine.

First of all, I knew my story wasn’t for everyone and not everyone was going to relate to the story of getting fired from a job that I thought I loved and wanted. But I wanted to write it anyway, for myself and for anyone else who could relate to it or was curious enough about Waldorf education.

Secondly, this isn’t the end. I feel like I’m just starting to figure out what I need to do for my next book and experiment with this book in terms of marketing. I feel braver, more confident and I learned a great deal from simply going through the process of writing, editing, creating a book cover and uploading it on Createspace + putting it on Amazon. Not to mention all the work that went into creating an audio version of {the missing teacher}. Yeah, it’s a lot of work.

The formation of a book is its own journey and if you decide to go the self-publishing route you will not be alone. You have to ask for help. And you have to learn a bunch of shit you probably didn’t sign up for, but hey, that’s life. I rather like the idea of failing and succeeding on my own terms, as well, no pressure to make sales and have the kind of social media reach that traditional publishers need.

Of course, it would be lovely to be “successful”, really really lovely, but I think for memoirists especially, writing down the bones (as Natalie Goldberg puts it) is about the process, the rite of passage, the personal story arc. There is such a sweet satisfaction in knowing you laid out your skeletons, slayed them or whatever and decided to move on. And then you fucking wrote about it! You helped yourself. You published it. You didn’t ask for permission. Or if you did, you still found another way. You’re finding another way, right?

You know, on the other blog, I wrote a post and was initially disappointed by the lack of comments. But then I thought about the one guy which the post resonated with. He shared a documentary that I hadn’t heard of and I stopped fussing over not hitting a homerun every damn time. One connection is better than none.

And when I started to blog {the missing teacher} the connections surprisingly started to roll in. Then when I published it, more surprises. Now, I don’t have a lot of connections (yet), but there is something to be said about starting small. It doesn’t make you small. It simply means you have room to grow, if that’s what you desire. It also means you have time for your connections and you appreciate them more deeply. These are good things, things we have a tendency to forget to appreciate.

So, write your memoir (even if only 10 people read it). Sink into the process, swim, play, hold your breath, blow bubbles, float and luxuriate in the flow. As far as I know, we only have one life, leave those regrets behind.

Have you written your memoir?

Hey-ya, my audiobook is available for free (or pay what you want) here. Or if you are interested in purchasing it on Amazon and sharing your thoughts, that would be wonderful, too! Thank you for reading.

6.1.16
1 Comments

What are your rules of life?

manifesto

23.10.15
0 Comments

Becoming a teacher

education

Becoming a teacher is like becoming a new person. You have no idea what you are in for. You think you know what to expect, but I assure you, you do not. It’s hard work. It’s pretty much thankless. It’s constant and it changes. Teachers are scapegoats to society’s ills, but society really needs us, too. There’s a lot of bloodletting. Not literally, of course, but you are a giver, you have to give, your job is to give.

Sorry, I hope you weren’t expecting a pep talk.

When I decided to be a Waldorf teacher, I remember the exact moment, the out loud declaration at the wheel of my Nissan Sentra. And do you know what I did? I cried. Sitting in traffic, I sobbed, wiped my eyes, looked around and plodded home wondering why I cried. I suppose it was my future-self crying and that’s why my self-at-the-moment was so surprised. Little did I know what becoming a Waldorf teacher was going to really be like for me, but after I completed two years of teacher training, I did.

Waldorf education is based on the esoteric philosophies of Rudolf Steiner and claims to be the fastest growing private school in the world. It’s also very controversial. Its critics claim it’s a cult, that Steiner was a racist and that the schools do more harm than good. Its advocates believe Steiner was a genius and the school’s focus is on the imagination and working together. My experience involved me writing a whole book over it.

Currently, I’m teaching English overseas. I’ve been an English as a Foreign Language (EFL) teacher for about 5 years. Most of my teaching has been in Thailand, although for 6 months I was in Ecuador. In many ways, teaching abroad is different than teaching in your passport country. At the same time, teaching is teaching anywhere in the world. Respect for the profession is dwindling and it seems all the students want to do is play on their phones.

Of course, there are wonderful students, too. Unfortuantely, they are not enough to balance out the bureaucracy and politics and negativity that have unhappily made its way into the classrooms. So, why do I still do it? Well, you could say, I feel a little stuck. That is, I don’t feel I have much of a choice, but I still like it, despite its problems. I don’t suppose that makes much sense to you, does it?

A colleague told me the other day that he feels like he’s acting in front of the classroom. I disagreed with him. I said I never felt like I was acting. But I do perform. Acting feels less authentic. Performing, on the other hand, is what teachers have to do to keep the students engaged. In many ways, teachers must weave spells and create magic.

When I first started teaching, I was attracted to the idea of working with children because I had such an fun experience working with them at a summer camp. This doesn’t mean that I was a natural though. I was surprised that I even liked them. Originally, I was hired to be the office manager, but I found myself wanting to spend more time with the campers and so I did.

There are natural teachers, but they are rare. Most of us have to really sweat and toil if we want to be any good at it. I’m rather matter-of-fact which can be a good or bad thing depending on how you like your teachers. Trust me, the profession is filled with the kind of criticism that cuts down to the marrow in the bone and you have to decide what to discard and what you can use. Not an easy task when you are fresh out of training and wide-eyed and dewy, but as the dewiness wears off and the eyes become tired, you learn to survive.

Becoming a teacher should make you a better person. But being a teacher can make you an angrier person.

I remember in high school I had a science teacher who wore sensible sandals with the panty hose toes cut off. And even though I was an extremely average student, I felt bad for her because the class was insane. The boys sat on the chair desks surrounding Debbie, the resident tart who wore spandex tight dresses to accentuate every bit of her Playboy bunny body. Someone threw a cherry bomb in our class so we didn’t have to attend. There was a lot of talking for talking’s sake and our teacher would sometimes slam her books on the table and scream, “Shut up!”

Now that I’ve been teaching for years, I get it. I would have loved to have done that, many, many times over. These days though a lot of the disrespect comes in the form of students endlessly playing on their phones. I’m an entertaining teacher, too. But perhaps all teachers think that way about themselves. You learn to care, less. You have to. You accept that you cannot control every moment. You learn that you have no real authority over the students. After all, learning is a relationship.

Bad teaching days and good teaching days, ideally, need to be swallowed with equanimity. If you end the week on a bad teaching day, my colleague believes that you won’t recover until you’ve had a good teaching day. There is a lot of truth in that, but it’s also one hellva way to live. Good teaching days help you remember why you got into this damn profession in the first place. Bad days make you feel like the stupidest person and an utter failure.

Teachers, by default, try their best and use up way too much personal time to get their job done. So, it is incredibly crushing to be blamed for not doing more. Yes, yes. There are lazy and bad teachers and they are the ones that make headline news, but I can assure you the better ones have great big hearts for your children.

I can’t tell you if becoming a teacher has made me a better person. Sometimes I feel like it’s making me bitter and crazy. Sometimes I wonder how much longer I can do this. Other times, I love making my students laugh and helping them along the way. If I could do it all over again, I don’t think I would have run down this road. It’s a thankless task with many problems with one too many 1%-ers telling us how to do our jobs. Although, if I hadn’t, perhaps I would have never realized that we’re all teachers.

Ultimately, becoming a teacher, getting fired, and becoming a teacher again made me understand that the task of teaching was something I always had within me. Because we are all teachers. Teaching through our words and actions. Teaching every day. Teaching is more than a profession: it’s our life’s journey, our heart’s work, and a job that everyone carries from the inside out.

Your career is not your self-worth

My addendum to the 'Measles for the One Percent' Waldorf article

the missing teacher: three years later

Lani

25 Ideas for the EFL classroom

How can we keep our teachers?

What we can learn from teaching memoirs

The hardest part about teaching

the missing teacher's new book cover and 1 year anniversary

Write your memoir (even if only 10 people read it)

What are your rules of life?

Becoming a teacher

{the missing teacher} is an audiobook, too!

Interviewing for a Waldorf teaching position

the missing teacher is published!

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