About
My Waldorf experience was a life-changing one. I entered the Foundation Year in 1999 and completed my Waldorf Teacher Training in 2001. I started teaching at a school, I like to call, Trembling Trees, and was fired in 2003.
I started writing about my experience in 2005 as a way to move past it and put the whole damn thing behind me. Since I've been journaling from the age of 13, it was the natural thing to do. But my attempts to get it published never went anywhere, I don't think I was ready. So I decided to share it as a blog (I've since taken down a lot of the posts as they were messy first drafts), and what I discovered was my experience was a shared one.
“There’s the inability in this country to disentangle self-worth from a career." - Christina Shideler
In other words, strangers and friends told me about their own experiences, not only in teaching but in fields like nursing and non-profits. Parents have also contacted me. I was reminded that my first thought, "I should share what happened" was a good one, and I started thinking about how I could make these words into a book again.
So I returned to my original idea and worked hard to get it published, and at the beginning of 2015, I did it. The Missing Teacher is available through paperback at Amazon and on Kindle as well. But I must confess, I receive little compensation for it. So if you are interested in an audiobook + an ebook (that cost less too!) that pays directly to me, please consider going to Gumroad.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for sharing. And if you'd like to keep in touch, I send out a semimonthly newsletter called No Girl is an Island. Or you can check out my more active blog Life, the Universe, and Lani or feel free to drop me a line at lanivcox@gmail.com
Your stories and support have helped me so much throughout the years.
Lani V. Cox
Rayong, Thailand
updated May 2021
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Dear Lani,
ReplyDeleteThank you for blogging about being a w-teacher! I read you first post and recognized every bit of it. I, too, was once in the situation you describe. But I stayed for seven years - six as a class teacher and one teaching various subjects.
I'm sure they considered firing me now and then. And perhaps they would have, had I not quit all by myself.
Then I taught upper grades at another (less repressive, less ideogical w-school) for another three years. I'm sure I was a breath of fresh air, with all my lecturing and creative workshops, but alas -- I ended up running away with their top student, so that ended my career!
I feel very ambivanlent to the whole thing. I neither could or would want to go back to Waldorf, be it as a teacher or as a parent. I still think Steiner rocks and I love the idea of an anthro approach to education. But what I see is so much like what you're describing. I don't really know what to do about it. But thanks for the blog!
AK
Thanks for reading AK.
ReplyDeleteThe crazy thing is I thought Waldorf was this unheard of educational philosophy but the longer I am on the net and the more I travel I discover how many people are aware of Waldorf.
That said, I knew my situation was unique and common at the same time. I'm glad that you can relate (well, you know what I mean ;)to my situation because it helps me realize I was not alone.
It's also great to make these kinds of connections. I have ambivalent feelings as well but like you I still believe in R. St. and his vision.
Lani,
ReplyDeleteyou are certainly not alone.
My Swedish story would be similar if I would write it down like you did. Also, quite like you have seen, it is not just one teacher who is treated badly at a particular school. What happened to you (and to me and to others who left or were fired at the school in Sweden where I was working) is part of a system. The lies telling, the pretending, the distorting of facts, things always happening behind the back, all this is a part of a system and meant to sustain the system.
Thank you for writing down and sharing your experience.
C.
Dear Lani,
ReplyDeleteI only now began to read you entries.
You were a loving and positive influence on our children while you were their teacher, my own child included.
That you so aptly embraced your profession in so little time is a testament to what a wonderful teacher you will become.
I respect what you've written here and that you've shown dignity and discretion.
Mario
@anon: I've really enjoyed our correspondence and I have appreciated how much you have pushed me to get my work out there and published. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@confounded: After the whole Waldorf fiasco I was grateful there were parents like you who kept me grounded and focused. Working with your child and the children was a joy I will always carry with me.
Dear Lani: I just don't have enough words to say how great has been to read your blog. THANKS!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a Waldorf teacher but a Social Worker who run away from her profession because couldn't stand all the things going on around it. I was pretty naïve... And reading your blog reminded me so much about those days.
I'm hoping to clean up those memories cause I still feel I can do a good job out there (and I would love to!)
Lots of luck for you,
Hugs...
Good luck to you too Paula. Thanks for reading and your kind words. It means a lot.
ReplyDeleteI've really enjoyed getting to know how you went about publishing your teacher's voice. I believe that too many times, it is exactly true that the teacher is "missing" in our nation's constant noise about education. I have been so frustrated by invasions into teaching, and I wished only to have my voice HEARD. Thank you for your efforts; they are inspiring.
ReplyDeleteLani, I am delighted to read your words. I was let go after 2 1/2 years at an "established" school, after teaching with great success and support, and a lot of long meetings, poor pay, and politics, at a developing Waldorf school. I still question whether I was a good teacher. your words go straight to my heart. thank you for writing.
ReplyDelete